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Sound of phone ringing in background....What has taken him so long to call me back? The laundry is piled through the roof, the dishes in the sink are beckoning my name, and my two year old just wet his pants for the third time today. All the while he is "working" to make a living. I wonder how much work he really does.
Hello, I answer. Hey Baby, how are you doing? He coos at me. Now what's a woman to do? Do I tell him how it really is, or do I lie about loving being the wife of a hail chaser?
Fine I quickly let out. Uh ohh doesn't sound fine. What's wrong? He sighs. Now here I am again, what's a woman to do? Sure I could tell him how hard everything is. How much I miss his help, how I am sure he isn't really working as hard as he says. I could tell him that I am lonely, and that I want him to come home right now and find a real job. -Wait, what is wrong with me? Why am I so angry with him?
I think all of us wives who hold the house together, need to take a step back and realize what is really going on here.
Face it with your husband's away, whether you work outside the home or you are a stay at home mom, you are tired! You probably put in at least a 16 hour day of work, cleaning, cooking, and probably mothering someone or something. As I look back on the years that Skipp was away more than I wanted, I realized that the biggest problem I had was I was alone. So there you sit, as the phone rings tired, and alone. So, again I ask the question, what's a woman to do? Well hopefully I can lend you some experience.
First thing to do is have quiet time alone everyday. Yep, if that means locking yourself in the bathroom as you yell at your three kids that Mommy just put her self in time out, -then do it. What are you going to do with alone time? Well, I like to paint my toe nails, or actually wash my face and put on make up. Sometimes, I just close me eyes and lay on the bathroom floor wondering if there will be enough money left over for a vacation to St. Lucia this year. Hey a woman can dream can't she?
That is quite the point, take time and remember your dreams, find the woman you once were before you were lonely and tired. Alone time can also be going to the salon and getting a pedicure, hey its summer now, your feet will thank you. Maybe you could go by the local book store and have a cup of java, and your favorite pastry. I can hear you now, I have three little kids that are all home for the summer and I can't get a baby sitter. Hog wash! That's right; you can find a sitter, call a local church and ask them for the number of a teenager near you. Ask neighbors who they use. Second, you need a friend, that's right, good old fashioned friends. That will help the loneliness.
We women are made to be relational, we have to have relationships around us. We were meant for it! So, if your husband is gone more than he's home, friends can be a life line, plus they can help out with the kids occasionally. I can hear you again, Becky, where am I going to find a friend? I am glad you asked. Well, I have found plenty of friends by being involved in activities with my kids. Like the hour you have to wait while your green belt works out in Karate, or when you're Mary Lou-to-be, is flipping through the air at gymnastics. Do you have a local library or bookstore? Then go to the children's time, there are plenty of women there who know just how you feel. There are plenty of programs that churches offer too, like Mom's Co-Op preschool or a woman's bible study. There are plenty of ways to reach out to other woman, but it is important for you- to reach out.
Then the next time he asks, what's wrong? You can answer, Nothing, honest! I had a great time today, but I really miss you. I hope you get home soon! All the while you really can't wait for that next pedicure! Well, what's a woman to do?
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